I want you to take a minute and think back to your childhood. Imagine that when you were seven years old, someone asked you to describe your parents. What would you have said to them? Maybe you would have said that your dad was the funniest guy in the world, your mom was the best cook ever, and that they loved you a lot. Now fast forward to today. If someone asked you to describe your parents now, how would you answer them? Would you repeat the same thing you said when you were seven? I doubt it. Although there may be some similarities in what you would say, your description of them would probably be quite different. The way you see them has changed over the years.
When I was growing up, I had certain ideas about who my parents were. I loved and appreciated them, but I viewed them much differently when I was a child than I do now. As a child I only saw part of who my parents werebecause of where I was developmentally and because sometimes my parents didn't explain things fully to me because of my age. As I've grown older, I've learned a lot more about who my parents are, how their past has formed them, and why certain things in my childhood happened like they did. The more I've matured, the more I've interacted with my parents, and the more I've listened to their stories, the more I've gotten to know them, and my picture of who they are has expanded and changed.
All of us also grew up with a certain picture, or image of God. Our images of God came from our parents, our church, and experiences we had as a child. Most of us received a mixture of images of God as we grew upsome were true to who God is and some were distortions of who God is. It is important for us to be aware of what images of God we carry because those pictures of who we believe God to be impact how we behave, how we relate to others, what we think of ourselves, and they affect our relationship with God. For instance, if we picture God as someone who has high expectations of us and that when we don't reach those expectations he is disappointed in us, it can cause us to give up trying or to constantly feel bad about ourselves or to have unreasonable expectations of others that they could never measure up to. Feelings of never being quite good enough for God build a wall between us and God and we are unable to receive the incredible, unending love of God that accepts us just as we are. Some other common distorted images of God are of a God who is disinterested in our lives, emotionally distant, too busy with important matters such as caring for the needs of the world, to care about our personal struggles, a God who is abusive, unreliable, and a God who abandons us.
No matter what image of God has been formed in our mind as children, positive or negative, as adults we must move beyond that to a deeper, fuller understanding of who God is. We may want to hold on to our images of God because they are part of us, maybe they're comfortable, or they are how we understand the world around us. But just like our relationship with parents and friends changes over the years and our understanding of who they are, so our relationship with God is ever-changing.
In Corinthians Paul says, ``When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.'' Paul does not mean that he simply grew out of childish things. The verb he uses in this passage indicates a decision to put away childish things. This doesn't mean we discount who we understood God to be when we were children. Rather, we make a decision to let go of those images of God so that God can bring healing to distorted images we have of him, and so that he can broaden our understanding of who he is and make himself known to us in new ways.
In my own life, I have carried the image of a God who has abandoned me. For many years there has been one particular struggle in my life that has been a barrier between myself and God. I have spent many hours with God praying, asking for help, blaming, crying, questioning, begging God to take away this ``thorn in my flesh,'' and yelling at God because he did not take it away. I did everything I knew to do to try to change things. I talked to Patrick, to a friend, to my spiritual director, I tried to give it to God, and I sought the help of a counselor. Still, it seemed like nothing changed. I experienced God as mean, cruel, not willing to help me, uncaring, turning his back on me. I knew God to be loving and always present, yet in regards to this area of my life I felt like God had abandoned me. At one point during all this struggle, a picture came to my mind. In the picture I was trying to crawl across a floor, reaching my hand out to God. But there was a heavy ball and chain on my ankle, making it impossible for me to move. I stretched out my hand toward God, but he was just out of my reach. He looked back at me but then walked away. This vivid image of a God who abandoned me when I so desperately needed him stayed with me for a long time. But over time God has helped me see things differently, has given me a truer understanding of who he is, and has brought healing in this area of my life. As I struggled and sought the help of others, I opened myself to God's work in me and although I may still carry parts of that image with me, the picture has changed. The ball and chain is still around my ankle, but God has now walked toward me and is sitting with me, feeling my pain and comforting me through the struggle. God is not a God who abandons us, but a God who sits with us in our pain and offers his comforting presence.
         Along with being aware of our distorted images of God, we need to realize that we will never fully understand or know who God isuntil we see God face-to-face. ``For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.'' The city of Corinth was famous for its mirrors. But the mirrors they had then were different than what we are used to today. Their mirrors were made of polished metal that, at their best, gave only an imperfect reflection.
It is humbling to be told that now we only see in a mirror dimly. Sometimes, with all our education, all our knowledge, and all the resources we have to learn about the culture, history, and writers of the Bible, it is easy to think we comprehend a lot about Godhow he works, who he iswe know God fairly well. When in actuality, we only have a very hazy, unclear reflection of who God is. We like to be able to wrap our mind around thingsGod included. But it is impossible. God is Mystery, mystery that cannot be ``solved,'' no matter how hard we try or how much we know. This doesn't mean we don't search for God to try to understand who he is. We do have the opportunity to see God's reflection through what his hands have made, if we open our hearts and our awareness to the world around us. Although we may see only dim reflections of God because of the imperfect world we live in, those dim reflections of God are still pretty incredible.
         Recently, after a very frustrating experience, Patrick and I went to Wal-Mart. I was feeling angry, resentful, and tired. I had had it! I just finished venting to Patrick as we entered Wal-Mart. We picked up the items we needed and went to the check-out line. We said hello to the cashier. She was very friendly and asked how we were doing. Patrick answered, saying we were doing fine, and I think I gave him a look to say, ``yeah, okay, whatever!'' She told us how good it was to see us, and complemented me on my shirtsaying how she liked those kinds of shirts and that it was pretty. I thanked her, and as we were ready to leave she smiled and said ``You two are a wonderful couple.'' We thanked her, and as we headed out the door, my eyes began to tear up. I had just met God at Wal-Mart. In the midst of a noisy, busy place, while wrapped up in my anger and frustration, God surprised me. As those words of encouragement were spoken, I saw the image of God in the form of an African American woman cashier. And I was thankful.
The Scriptures are full of countless images of who God is: God Almighty, the Most High God, the Everlasting God, the God of Israel, the God of Glory, the God of Our Fathers, the Creator, Abba Father, God of All Comfort, the Living God, the Eternal Immortal Invisible King, God is sovereign, the Lord will provide, the Lord is my Banner, the Lord is Peace, the Lord of Hosts, the Lord your Sanctifier, the Lord my Shepherd, the Lord our Righteousness, the Lord is there, God is unique, transcendent, the Savior, the only true God, Spirit, Master, a Consuming Fire, the King of the Nations.
What is your image of God? When you think of God in the Old Testament, what comes to mind? We may tend to think of all the laws in the OT and view God as a disciplinarian who is concerned that his people follow all of his rules. Or maybe we remember all the times God punished the people of Israel when they did not obey him. But do we think about the God of Genesis, who made garments for Adam and Eve and clothed them, even though they had disobeyed God and tried to hide from him? Do we remember the God of Hosea, who loved Israel passionately even though they, like an adulterous wife, were continually unfaithful to God? What about the merciful God who Jonah gets angry at because he changes his mind about destroying Ninevah? Jonah says, ``That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing'' (Jonah 4:2b). The images we have of God in the Old Testament are rich and varied and we would benefit from a more balanced view of the God of the Old Testament.
What about the New Testament? What images of God do we have there? Christians often have the opposite tendency with images of God in the New Testament. Our mind quickly takes us to Jesus feeding the 5,000, healing the sick and lame, the parable of the Prodigal Son, but do we think about the time Jesus overturned the tables of money changers in the temple or the judgment he pronounces on those who do not feed the hungry, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, and visit the sick and those in prison? The images we have of a loving and forgiving God in the New Testament need to be held alongside the continual calling of Jesus for us to turn from our selfish, sinful ways and follow him.
There are some other images of God we find in scripture that are much more unfamiliar to us and perhaps harder to embrace. But these images also add to our understanding of God and help us grow in our faith. Traditionally, God has been spoken of as Father and referred to as a male, and we should not lose this way of talking about God. However, we need to remember that God is neither male nor female. God is God. Our tendency to focus so much on one image of God can create an unbalanced view of who God is.
In Genesis 1 we read, ``Then God said, `Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness…..So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.'' Every person, both men and women, are made in the image of God. If both men and women are made in God's image, then God possesses characteristics that would be labeled as both ``masculine'' and ``feminine.'' There are places in scripture where God is described with feminine imagery and where mothering images are used to depict God's heart for his people. In Isaiah, God compares his love for us with the love a nursing mother who would never forget her child: ``Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands'' (Isaiah 49:15-16). God uses the pain of childbirth as a metaphor for his actions in Israel: ``For a long time I have held my peace, I have kept still and restrained myself; now I will cry out like a woman in labor, I will gasp and pant'' (Is. 42:14). In Deuteronomy (32:18) God tells Israel, ``You were unmindful of the Rock that bore you; you forgot the God who gave you birth.'' And in Isaiah 66 God says, ``As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.''
In the New Testament, as Jesus is lamenting Jerusalem's fate, he compares himself to a mother hen brooding over her chicks. ``Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!'' (Matthew 23:37)
In Luke, Jesus tells a parable where God is like a woman searching for her lost coin. Let's look at this parable a little closer. ``Or what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, `Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents'' (Luke 14: 8-10).
This parable falls between the parable of the lost sheep and the parable of the prodigal and his brother. In the parable of the lost sheep I always pictured Jesus as the shepherd, carrying the lost sheep back home on his shoulders. In the parable of the prodigal son, I pictured God as the father, waiting with open arms to embrace his long lost child. But never have I pictured the woman in the parable of the lost coin as God. That thought never even crossed my mind before….until I was preparing for this sermon. In one of my readings, the author questioned why we so often identify God with the father of the prodigal but rarely with the woman searching for the lost coin.
When I read that I was compelled to look at the scripture passage. And that's when I found that it is sandwiched between these two other parables, both of which I easily visualized God or Jesus in. But the woman in the story of the lost coin was always just a woman. It was a story that represented the rejoicing that takes place in Heaven when someone repents of their sin and comes to acknowledge Jesus as Lord, but there was no awareness within me that the woman represented God. I even looked for loopholes, how this parable was different than the other two, but it wasn't. As I came to the realization that this woman represented God, it was very meaningful. Not because I need to see God as a woman, but because it broadened my view of who God is. God is the shepherd seeking those who have run away from his place of safety and provision; God is the father who welcomes us with joy when we realize we've messed up and come running back, desiring forgiveness; and God is the woman who meticulously searches her house until she finds one little lost coin that is of great worth to her. As we acknowledge that women represent who God is as fully as do men, God enlarges and deepens our understanding of who he is.
         May we appreciate and draw from the many images of God we have in the scriptures as we strive to develop a more mature understanding of God. Let us hold lightly to our images of God, remembering that in this life we see only dim reflections of our great God who is powerful like a king, protective like a shepherd, creative like a potter, cleansing like a river, and nurturing like a mother.